Brave New World

There's no doubt that I've changed from last year to now, in how I see myself and in how I want to be seen, and the past year has taught me that, more than anything, events are only as special as the people you spend them with. So instead of writing my 2008 reflection about what events I remembered, I wrote about people who made my past year worth remembering.

When I first started writing, my list kept changing. I couldn't figure out if this relationship was important enough for me to write about it, or if that relationship was really so weak that I shouldn't include it at all. It would be wonderful to say that the people I've loved most are all still a part of my life, but life doesn't always work that way. So I planned my list accordingly, thinking about the recent friendships I'd made and the friendships I hope to keep. Likewise, I intentionally left out a few people out. And then put them back in (see Somebody to love).

But onto something a little deeper.

The people on this list know something's wrong by a shift of my eyes or the slightest pause in my voice. They understand what I'm feeling without me being able to explain, and they wait up to make sure I'm home safe. They know what I'm going to say before the thought even crosses my mind, and they accept me unconditionally.

Then there are days when they annoy the shit out of me, and I don't feel like talking to them at all. They're not always considerate of my feelings, and they're actually really mean to me in comparison to my other friends. They tell me when I'm wrong, and they question me when I don't feel like being questioned. But they care, and they're there to protect me, even when I think I don't need protecting. Most importantly, there's just something about them that makes me feel safe, and they don't expect anything out of me other than what they know I can be, not what they build me up to be.

For everything, and for nothing, AN, PK, JN, MB, AT.

Much, much love.