Love Always

Mom,

A few days ago, I made an insensitive comment, and it was out of line. I was rude and hurtful, and I know I can't take back what I said. I'm not sorry I said it because it was true, and you raised me to never be sorry for what I believe. However, I apologize for my lack of tact, and I realize that how I said it hurt more than what I actually said.

Since then, you haven't spoken to me, and I understand that I've crossed my boundaries.

I know my actions make me seem like an undeserving child, but that's only because we see only what we want to see. You think I'm disobedient and argumentative, but that's wrong. I'm independent and I think for myself, like you taught me to. You think I'm lazy, but that's because I spend my time doing what I love rather than worrying about my resume. You think I could do so much more, be so much more, and you're right. But just because I can doesn't mean I will. Just because you want me to doesn't mean I want me to.

You're worried about my future. I am, too. But I can't live my life if I take the path you set out for me. You're scared I'm going to make the same mistakes you made, and you're trying to protect me from the hurt you've gone through. I get it. But I don't see your life as a failure. More importantly, I don't see you as a failure. So I'm not going to worry when I make the same mistakes you made because frankly, if the very worst that could happen to me meant that I were to be more like you, I still would have become a better person than I am now.

I'm an adult, and you have to let me learn on my own. You raised me to be the best person I can be, but you're not always going to be there to teach me right from wrong. And sometimes, the only thing you can do is just sit back and hope you did a good job. You did. So don't worry.

I am my own person, and I need to lead my life the way I choose. In what I choose to learn, in what actions I choose to make, in all that I do and fail to do. I know it hurts, and I know it's hard, but I need you to trust me. My faults are my own, and you have to let me find out on my own. Believe that I can fix my mistakes. Have faith in me, in what you have raised me to become, and know always that I never meant to hurt you.

I love you, Mom, but I need to be me.