Lack-luster

Today was certainly eventful. No sarcasm intended.

DS 10 paper due this morning - I was late to class, obviously. I did get sleep from 2-5AM (the plan was to wake up at 4:30, but when I got up, I brought my pillow to the futon in the living room and slept for another half hour), so no harm done.

PS 3 section started out pretty well. Got my problem sets 2 and 3 back - 99/100 and 97/100 points. Yes, what now, bitches. WHAT NOW. :)Hope prob set 4 and the final go just as well, but no promises.

I got to class early, so I decided hop on the laptop to chat and facebook for a while. That's when I found out about Favian. Class of 2007, 19 years of age. Dead.

In terms of dealing, I'm not horribly distraught. Truthfully, I didn't know him that well; it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't know me at all. I guess death has wandered near me, yet again. It's kind of weird, isn't it? I mean, of course people die. It's a given. Mmm, I'm just unsure as to whether I've seen death a lot lately because I'm more cognizant of it, or if it really has just been occurring more. My heart goes out to the Mora family and everyone who knew Favian better than I did. A lot of my friends have been hit hard by the news, so it's evident that he was a good person who changed countless lives.

I'm not sure if I want to find out why he died. It really is unfair, just like how Wendy's death was unfair, and how Tom's death was unfair. Children aren't supposed to die, but they do, every day.

It's ironic, though. I think kids deal better with death than adults. When Christopher was four and Tom died, my brother was very rational and calm. To him, Tom had died. He was sick, he died, the end. No tears, no lack of understanding. Just pure realization that in the presence of death, the living still live on.

Sometimes I wish I could say the same for me. I still think about Wendy almost daily, and I even dream about my grandma every now and then. It's like my thoughts freeze me and take me back to his funeral, her grave. I think I'm slowly becoming desensitized by these kind of events, and it scares me.

In less dampening spirits, I'm daily reminded to be thankful for what I have and who I have. My family and friends - they're mean, they're jerks, and they all love to make fun of me, but they care. They all make me smile for different reasons, and I'd do anything for any one of them. I don't take any of them for granted, no matter what they may think, and before I go to bed at night, I think about everyone I have around me. Friends and family that I've gained over the years, lost over the years, people that I loved dearly once and will continue loving until the end of my life.

Wow, this post is a complete tangent from what I had originally wanted to talk about. I really want to continue writing, but I'm not sure I'm up for it right now. Football concessions tomorrow (AT EIGHT in the AM!!), so I should be heading out soon. Guess the agenda I had been planning will have to be pushed to later.

Nonsensically yours.